Validating feelings

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Simply put, when people feel emotionally safe, they share more.When they share more, we learn more and are more likely to help them in a supportive, non-threatening way that gets at the root of the problem. Validation nurtures emotional safety, honesty and expression of underlying emotions.Bringing about feelings of being understood, establishes a basis for emotional safety.I am starting to feel like I do matter and I am still relevant with or without my fancy job or my one “normal” body. Just take a moment and think about saying to somebody something like, “God, I feel so scared,” and they look at you and they go, “Scared? There’s nothing to be scared of.” Remember how that felt?I’m going to talk about a way for you to never have to ever feel that way again or make anybody else feel that way again.We are not confirming that the feelings are right, or correct, or even okay. Simply stated, “We are confirming that they have just received an emotional package.” The challenge is to allow them open the emotional package the way they want to open it.

If you order a product and someone calls to confirm that you received it, you might say, “Yes, I got the package.” You are only confirming that you received the package.Saying to someone, “I understand,” is typically not helpful and tends to minimize their feelings.How can we possibly understand what someone else is going through even if we have had a similar experience?Since we don’t know for sure what the person is feeling, use words that are gentle and open to possibilities.“It must be very difficult to be in this situation.” “I can’t even begin to imagine what you are going through.” “It seems like things were going well and then this happened.” “I’m not sure, but it appears you are saying that this makes you very angry.” “Do you feel like in a way you were blindsided?

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