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Within a decade of the invention of the telephone, for example, we had designed a way to wiretap and listen in on the private conversations flourishing there.

And with the Internet, we can create new or false identities for ourselves, mixing real life and personal fantasy in unpredictable ways.

With technical advances came a shift in social mores.

They change not simply how we find our beloved, but the kind of beloved we hope to find.Writing in 1884, James Russell Lowell wondered a bit nervously about the long-term consequences of the “trooping of emotion” that the electric telegraph, with its fragmented messages, encouraged.Lowell and others feared that the sophisticated new media we were devising might alter not just how we communicate, but how we feel.How do our ubiquitous technologies — cell phones, e-mail, the Internet — impact our ability to find and experience love?Our technical devices are of such extraordinary practical use that we forget they are also increasingly the primary medium for our emotional expression.

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