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So a whole dumb show would ensue, in which we silently gestured at each other across the café or bar—first quizzically, then in some weird, fake recognition, as if, oh, how we went back, such memories, and things like that. It's a mad ambition, and I had no idea if Blendr would work.Then I would get to the point and ask him what in the hell this app really was. Is this the way straight men and women—especially straight women—want to meet and mate?It is also standard practice among grinders to steer clear of certain red flags.As any grinder knows, someone who doesn't supply even a fake or a ridiculously old pic is to be shunned at all costs.To ensure that no user of Grindr ever felt hoodwinked, I took the name "GQ Magazine" and used as my icon a collage of covers, though I was slightly worried that grinders would think I was hawking subscriptions in some kind of seedy jailhouse telemarketing scheme.But guys did drop me a line, at all hours and in great numbers. Though it is 96 percent inane, it's not all sexting and Weinering pics to people.The ladies certainly wouldn't treat Chat the same way; they'd be euphemistic and vaguely lyrical (I hoped) while the males were doing something close to grunting. From a female standpoint, that might be seen as one romantic step away from being spirited into a van.

They have it all down to a science, selling their sites on that old adage, "Similars attract." On Grindr, you are permitted to write a 120-character profile and upload a photo, and that's pretty much all you get to spark that digital First Look Across the Room.

This subculture was populated with all sorts of people—like any community.

Together the sex-crazed and lonely hearts and the rest were building a digital neighborhood on top of their physical one.

" (I spelled it all out, eschewing the "R U," because, you know, being said!

—would often die in a quick and merciful way, but many Chats ended with an agreed-to meeting place, which was unusually convenient for both of us since, by the very nature of this whole game, we lived within a block of each other.

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