Avoiding dating players online
(The FBI says it may be embarrassing for victims to report this type of fraud scheme because of the personal relationships that are developed, so the real numbers are probably higher.) As one result, fear of a horrible first date is just one of the things a would-be online dater has to worry about. “Most people think the victims are middle-aged women who can’t get a date, but I have worked with men and women of all ages—doctors and lawyers, CEOs of companies, people from the entertainment industry—who you’d never think in a million years would fall for these scams but do,” says Barb Sluppick, who runs Romance Scams, a watchdog site and online support group.
According to a recent Consumer Reports Online Dating Survey of more than 114,000 subscribers, among the respondents who were considering online dating but were hesitant, 46 percent said they were concerned about being scammed. “Typically the scammer builds trust by writing long letters over weeks or months and crafting a whole persona for their victims,” says David Farquhar, Supervisory Special Agent with the FBI.
The aim of a player is to win your affection and the marker they use to judge this is often sexual – they have made their conquest.
For others, it’ll be when you say you love them or, in extreme cases, agree to marry them.
They then feel compelled to leave and repeat the whole process again with their next victim.
The world is full of players and to a certain extent we are all guilty: each of us must occasionally negotiate relationships and situations to serve our own self-interest.
Experts say online daters are always wise to be skeptical regarding what someone they’ve met online, and not in the flesh, tells them.
No one wants to be left feeling a fool and it is this fear that stops many people dating at all.Look out for boastful, unsubstantiated claims, a lack of information about themselves and flashy or grandiose plans.If it all seems too good to be true, it probably is.This makes it hard for the victim to do due diligence.The scammer might say that an immediate family member has a medical emergency and needs money for treatment, or that he has been wrongly arrested and needs help with bail money and legal support.