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While you’re checking your racism, think about the way you talk to other guys who aren’t just like you.“Older men are really hot” is nowhere near as serious as racism, and it might seem like a compliment, but this guy doesn’t want to be defined by his age, any more than you’d expect someone to fancy you because of your postcode or shoe size.Many guys are very clear in their dating profiles – almost rudely so – about what they don’t want or like.Not only is this far too prescriptive, you also run the risk of coming across as overly negative.Having fixed ideas of what you want – which usually boil down to looks and little else – could be standing in your way of meeting some great guys.It’s time to think outside the box, look past the beards or muscles, and take chances.It seems the objectification is hardly limited to dating websites, though, as comedy videos like "What kind of Asian are you? It goes the other way as well, with women of all races preferring white men, apart from black women who prefer black men.Black men get low response rates when they contact other races.

The idea that men who put out aren’t good enough to take home to meet our mother is nonsense. Sex alone won’t ruin everything, believe me, plenty of other things can go wrong.Among men, all races preferred a race different than their own. Think again - more like open season for racial objectification.Men across the board all preferred Asian women, apart from Asian men, who preferred Latinas. Cue a million stereotypes about how some groups of women are magically and uniformly "gentle" and "feminine". Go to Google, and start typing in "[race] women are…" and see what the autocomplete suggests as the most popular way of completing this statement.While the common dating ‘rules’ – not that I believe in rules – can apply to anybody, there are perhaps a few things we, as gay guys, need to pay a little more attention to. We whinge that we can’t find the right man, or never get a second date, but the usual reason is we’re not looking hard enough in the first place.Whether we’re into bears, jocks or geeks, sometimes our narrow search criteria holds us back.

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